An actual conversation last night between me and my 11 YO son John John:
Setting: me (the mother) laying down on a sectional couch in the TV room. Son comes in to address mother.
JJ: Can I watch TV?
Me: I don’t think so – I’m just resting 5 minutes before I get your sister from ballet and then we are having dinner.
JJ:(plops down on the couch) Can’t you get your feet away from me?
Me: I am trying to rest. Why don’t you sit the other way?
JJ: Why can’t I watch TV?
Me: Why can’t you wait until I leave? I have three minutes left on my timer.
JJ:(Still hasn’t moved away from my feet)
Me: Why don’t you massage my feet for 3 minutes? Then I’ll go get your sister and you can watch TV.
JJ: (Exhibits revulsion) I don’t like touching old people’s feet.
Me: (feigns offense) Huh?! How DARE you!!
JJ: Fine. I don’t like touching withered, veiny, pale, crusty feet.
Me: (dying. Laughing till I am weeping)
(Pause as I recover a little)
JJ: (Still hasn’t moved away from my feet)
Me: (Reaches out foot and touches him with my toes.)
JJ: Ahhhh!!! You gave me arthritis! And Shingles!!
Me: đź’€